Aunty's got the chops for it
Tim Haillay
Kong, a short fellow, sits, remembering his life after reading the obituary of Fay Wray. Aunty is always there.
AUNTY “What’s the matter?”
KONG “Aunty-matter!”
AUNTY “It looks like someone’s bitten me to it.”
KONG “I never had one, only the idea of one.”
AUNTY “So how you gonna do it with Aunty?”
KONG “Do it with the idea of me.”
AUNTY “I’ve done it with big ones, small ones, but never a kein pimmel.”
KONG “Kein, klein, what’s the difference?”
AUNTY “I need something for upping the Aunty.”
KONG “A stiff idea.”
AUNTY “I think we both need a stiff one!”
KONG “Mine’s a Glenfiddich.”
AUNTY “Mine too, bottoms up.”
KONG “Up yours!”
“Then, like a kraken huge and black, She crushed our ribs in her iron grasp” - Longfellow, The Cumberland
Tim Haillay, 7 November 2004